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[ASTRO] Re: I am the new Number Two
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That's the cutest, and darn near funniest, astro-tale I have ever read
on this list. Plus, your subject line refers to my second most
favorite TV show ever.
Thank you,
Mookie
On Tue, 25 May 1999 Tobemacapa@aol.com wrote:
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>
> Hey all. I don't usually write on these lists since, er, I usually don't
> subscribe to these lists. Anyhoo, I was glad to have made it to an excellent
> 9:30 Moam show. Me and my friend basically spent the night bopping around
> like one of plastic things in a Whack-A-Mole game, and grinning like the
> alien does when it finally gets to feel up Sigourney Weaver - you get the
> idea. In the morning, we ditched our Greyhound plans for the basic motorcar
> instead in pursuit of the New York show. Smelling of stale brownies and sick,
> we departed to a nearby KFC/Taco Bell hybrid overtaken by Star Wars
> merchandising and the notion, by the giant utopian wall murals, that the
> world would be a better place if everyone ate this stuff, where we squandered
> five bucks on KFC/Taco Bell Happy Meals, trying to buy Coco a Jar Jar Binks
> water squirter. (Hey, c'mon, the guy sets his head on fire.) Squirter aquired
> (and later left stupidly behind in the backseat of our car, I might add) we
> took off onto 1-95 heading for the Big Shit, visions of yummy Tesla coils
> swimming through our fuzzy heads, when a large, familiar-looking white van
> and trailer bearing the words "ASTRO TECHNOLOGIES," hykeebahed past us at
> about 75, leaving a trail of sweaty space suit smell in its wake.
> "Whoa," my friend managed.
> "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" I screeched at the top of my worn lungs. "GO
> FASTER!!! GO FASTER!!!!!"
> And I, a girl who lost her sense of balance at around, oh, puberty,
> rolled down her window, stuck fully half her body out of it, and started
> frantically waving her arms in the general direction of the fleeing
> earthbound astroship, looking not unlike a panicked carjacking victim, or
> possibly Ace Ventura. Man, my contacts're filled with gunk now.
> Our plans went sour, for the government needs money to keep its
> highways crap. We hit the slow-down portion of toll boothland, and despite my
> demands to "GO RIGHT! GO RIGHT! PULL UP NEXT TO THEM!!!" and "GO FASTER! ONE
> WE GET UP TO 90 IT SHOULD STOP MAKING THAT NOISE!!!" the astromen cleverly
> eluded us. They got into the E-Z Trailpass lane, and we had to join the other
> fluffheads who were waiting to pay two bucks to a highway system that allows
> touring vans to get away easily. Still, we were only about three car lengths
> away.
> "BIRDSTUFF!!" I started howling at random, perched somewhere atop the car
> roof. "COCO! ASTRO!!! GUYS!!!!!" and assorted variations on their other
> names.
> High-school theater projection could not save me now. We lost them somewhere
> between Newark and Christina. I'm inviting astro-list criticism, I realize -
> how on earth could we let ourselves to lose astromen in DELAWARE?
>
> My friend later pointed out that we should've honked, or maybe I should've
> just hopped out of the car and banged on their windows while they were
> trapped and helpless in the wake of the evil E-Z trailpass booth, but there's
> no sense in giving a band you like a heart attack. We later found out that
> Moam don't even have an E-Z trailpass, dammit.
>
> We then entered "What's that light on the dashboard that's blinking that's
> never blinked before?" territory, and gave up on our dying primitive
> transport, which at least limped into inner city Philly, thank God. But
> that's a whole 'nother story.
>
> Can I add something really dorky? Eric - errr, Trace, sorry - he has the
> nicest smile. I'll go now.
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
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> For more info see: <http://www.grantbob.com/moam/astro.html>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
> .. Visit IRC channel #moam on EFnet (http://www.efnet.net/)
> .. end astro-transmission [V-300zX1Z4-0BX600]
>
>
>
>
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yo spud! This message is from the Astro-List. To post to the list send
your message to the list at: astro-list@grantbob.com To be removed
from the list, please send a message with "UNSUBSCRIBE astro-list"
(no quotes) in the BODY of the message to listserv@grantbob.com
For more info see: <http://www.grantbob.com/moam/astro.html>
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.. Visit IRC channel #moam on EFnet (http://www.efnet.net/)
.. end astro-transmission [V-300zX1Z4-0BX600]