[ASTRO] Re: Late, as always, with discussion topics

[Michael Kepler <kepler@metro1.com>]

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I'm even slower jumping on this thread, and I'm sorta the one that started
it!

I'm surprized that, from what I've read so far, nobody else on the list
first heard of the Astro-Men where I did.  I told my story once before
in the early days of the list, but a repeat at this point isn't a bad
idea.

It all started with a record review in a slick technology fashion magazine 
called "Wired".  The album being reviewed was "Destroy all ASTROmen!", so
this must have been around 1994 or 1995.  The cover art alone was enough
to grab me, but the thing that really made me determined to find it was
the fact that included a cover of the "Love Theme to Mystery Science
Theater 3000".  At this point, I had already been an obsessive fan
of MST3K for years, so any band that is into the show had to be a waaaaay 
cool band!

I tried to find the darned thing for months and months, but never saw
any ASTRO-discs on local shelves.  I was probably just looking in
the wrong places (like Tower Records).  Suddenly one day it shows up
in the hands of my then-employee, a Unix System Administrator we will
call "Bobo".  He said he had bought it on the strength of the Wired
review, but didn't really like it.  Can you imagine?  He bought
"Destroy...", listened to it, and DID'NT LIKE IT!  It boggles the
mere Earthling mind.

Anyway, I gave it a listen and was instantly in love.  Up to this point
I was strictly a Progressive Rock Snob.  I had never heard this kind
of totally kick-ass fun instro-rock before.  In grasping for points of
reference, the closest I could find was Robert Frips short-lived dance
band "The League of Gentlemen" (the late 70s one, not the late 60s one).
I had never really heard good surf before, except for a couple of acoustic
covers by The California Guitar Trio (yeah, I said acoustic, trust me it
really does work; their take on 'Pipeline' actually rocks).  In my
unfathomable ignorance I had surf equated with The Beach Boys and had
dismissed the genre entirely.  The only truly fun music I had listend
to (other than The League of Gentlemen) was They Might Be Giants.

I bought "Destroy..." from Bobo for 7 bucks and then was on an obsessive
mission to Find and Purchase all ASTRO-disks!  Fortunately, MOA? was finally
on the radar screen of Tower's buyer, so I was able to pick up Experiment
Zero right away, so at this point in my saga it must be 1996.  This I
also loved.  I can't remember from that point in what order I filled
in the rest of the CD back-catalog, but it didn't take long, mostly 
thanks to Music Millenium in NW Portland OR.  

My first ASTRO-show, and my first ASTRO-vinyl (sp?) purchases were at
Satyricon in Portland OR, sometime in the summer of 1996.

I had never been to a "real" club show before.  Sure, I had been to
"LaLuna" a couple of times, but that is at the civilized end of the
club spectrum and I had only seen "big name" (non-indy) bands there.
Satyricon was, for an old fart like myself, pretty intimidating.  

I arrived way too early, which has remained my habit to this day, and
endured all of the opening acts.  The first two were really bad, and
I don't remember their names.  Even if I did remember, I wouldn't mention
them, as I don't have anything nice to say about them.  Then on came
The Monomen.  They totally rocked!  The vocals, quite frankly, sucked,
but I have since learned that there are some among even their devoted
fans who share my low opinion of their vocal style and performance.
But as an instrumental band, The Monomen, lived up to all of my anxious
hopes for the Astro-men, especially their totally kick-ass drummer!

This place was hot, I mean really really hot.  And poorly ventilated
and full of smoke and sweaty unruly youths.  By the time The Monomen
finished, it was something like 1 or 2 in the morning and I was 
really wondering if this was worth it at all.  Just being in this place
had exhausted me.  I was sure that if I survived this night, I would never
set foot in a squalid little club again.

But then... then the magical energy that is Man or ASTRO-man?  took
the stage, and my mind.  Before the end of the first song, I had forgotten
all of the tedium horror of the last several hours.  I was totally
energized and totally, blissfully, brainwashed.  MOA? delivered the
goods live, better than any band I have ever seen.

I had this hopeless dream that I could get in a time machine and go
back to 1967 or so and see The Who live at the Marquee club, back when
they _REALLY_ rocked, back when they defined what it _means_ to rock.
That sweaty night in 1996, Man or ASTRO-man? fulfilled that dream for
me, and then some.  Ok, nobody smashed guitar on stage, but they did
set a TV helmet on fire, and eventually smashed a real TV _and_ unleashed
the energy of a Tesla coil.  But more important that the pyrotechnics
and artful violence, they _ROCKED_!  I can't define what that means,
but I know I heard it that night.

After the show I got the biggest shock of all.  These specimens of
a vastly superior alien race were actually really nice guys!  
Polite, gracious nice guys, happy to chat with fans after working
the hardest 40 minutes I had ever seen anyone work (and I've done
both farm and factory work).  I bought my first ASTRO-LP, which
was my sentimental favorite "Destroy...", and got signatures of
every band member on it.  You can find these signatures, painstakingly
extricated from the cover art, on my ASTRO-website
(http://www.ipinc.net/~kepler/asr3k.html  I promise to update it soon).

In addition to their own incomporable work, MOA? has been a conduit
for me into realms I would never have entered: Surf, Instro-rock,
Indy-rock, the club scene, etc...  This band has literally changed
my life.  At this critical post-double-coronary-bypass juncture in life, 
most men find new vitality in a young girlfriend.  I found something better:
a band, and there's none of that messy shame or guilt that comes
with the girlfriend.

Geez, I've got work to do.  Sorry I rambled and rhapsodized for so long,
but you can see that I get a bit enthusiastic about the ASTRO-dudes.

Mookie

P.S.  Bobo has since been sufficiently brainwashed and has attended
one show each of MOA? and Servotron (my show count is: MOA? 3, Servotron 2,
and ORI 1).  He no longer works for me, but we are still good friends.
Bobo is now the SysAdmin at the ISP that hosts my web site.

New thread:  how many have _you_ assimilated into the "Man or Servotron?"
collective?  My count: a pitiful 3.5.            

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