[ASTRO] ASTRO-show in Portland OR

[Michael Kepler <kepler@metro1.com>]

.. begin astro-transmission

Man or ASTRO-man at LaLuna in Portland OR
my personal story
by mookie

DISCLAIMER: The show was great and I'm glad I went.  I strongly
reccomend live ASTRO-shows to everyone.  Be forewarned, however,
that much of what follows doesn't seem to reflect this.  Also be
forewarned that this is a _very_ long post.

Arrived waaay too early because I wanted to make darned sure I got
a spot right on the edge of the stage.  Brought my freshly repaired
camcorder and my 3-D camera.  This time I had someone with me to operate
the 3-D while I operated the video, to avoid the disaster I had last
time.

Go around back and find a very sick Dexter-X rummaging through the
ASTRO-van for cold medicine.  I guess the simulated human bodies they
live in are fairly realistic.  I gave him a few of the lenticular 3D
prints from film I shot at the Servotron show earlier this year.

Coco is outside supervising the construction of special
silver-painted ASTRO-jack-o-lanterns for the show, so I reintroduce
myself to him and chat very breifly.  He takes me inside and shows
me the new and improved Tesla coil that the LaLuna (venue) management
will _not_ let him assemble and operate.

ASTRO-dudes wander off to fuel their simulated human biosystems.  Run
into Ben Brinkman, super-ASTRO-fan.  He wanders off for food as well.

Time passes.... I wait...

The doors finally open and the gatekeeper won't let my cameras in.
I tell him it is OK with the ASTRO-guys and he says "club policy".
I say it was no problem last time, and he says "club policy".  Great.
This is my Negativland@LaLuna experience all over again.  Finally
get him to admitt that there is a way.  I have to get the band to
get me a press pass. But of course, now there is a gatekeeper at the
back door as well keeping people like me from doing things like
get press passes from the band.

However, the ASTRO-oids are _not_ inside the LaLuna Citadel.  So I
just wait for them to come back.  

Dexter-X arrives first and very graciously explains things first to
the gatekeeper and then to the ticket booth people, who finally
produce the sacred band of passage that I must wear to bring in
my camera.  Dexter-X is again and always my hero.  He is a super
duper nice guy, even when he is literally sick and tired.

The fist opening act is "Bishop of Battle" who were a lot better than
they were just a few months ago when they called themselves "Moon
eatrol" and opened for Servotron.  They're still kinda amateurish,
however.  The amount of improvement over the course of a fairly short
span of time gives me cause to keep an eye on these pups.  
You've never heard of them because they're from Corvallis, OR.

The second opening act is, of course, the "Delta 72".  Hmmm...
How do I put this?  They are clearly very very good at what they do.
What they do, however, isn't exactly my cup of tea.  I hesitate to
say this because they are very popular not only on this list but also
with the great Coco himself.  An incognito out-of-uniform Coco could
be seen in the audience during the Delta set, obviously enjoying it
very much.

Here is my big problem with the "Delta 72".  The lead guitar/singer,
Mr. No-Blink, did this very stagy showy fakey "break down the walls between
performer and audience" thing.  He really seriously overdid it and the
result was an ASTRO-crowd that was all full of piss an vinegar and 
possessed of the absurd notion that jumping up on the stage and acting
like an idiot is a _good_ thing.

Droves of "hey look at me I'm an individual too just like he said"
idiots stampeded all over the stage during the last song of the
Delta set and pretty much wrecked the monitor set-up.  It took a heck
of a long time for the sound people and the ASTRO-dudes to get things
back in working order.

Most of the ASTRO-show itself was fantastic as usual, while also being
the most un-usual ASTRO-show I am ever likely to see.  Y'see, this
was Halloween night.

When they ASTRO-kids hit the stage they were... THE MUMMIES?  A hastily
prepared sign was attatched to Birdstuff's kick drum that said
"The Mummies".  Their obviously last-minute-improvised mummy wraps
were composed of none other than ordinary toilet paper!  So imagine
this if you can... until I get the photos on my site.  The ASTRO-men
stumbling on stage covered from head to toe in layer upon layer of
toilet paper.  They proceed to tear into their set, and consequently
their wrappings.  Over the course of the first 3 to 5 songs all of
the toilet paper eventually falls of or is ripped off when it gets
in the way of playing.

Things go fairly swimmingly on stage while the usual audience problems
get steadily worse.  Finally the line is crossed when a drunken idiot
jumps up on the stage during "Invasion of the Dragonmen" and trips over
Starcrunch's pedals, unplugging a link in the signal chain in the
process.  Starcrunch proceeds to attempt to have a cordial but instructive
conversation with this individual regarding the appropriateness of
his behavior.  This fine fresh fellow, however, is far too drunk
for any kind of coherent or constructive conversation and finally
just flings himself headfirst back into the crowd.  Oh yeah, right
on top of me, of course.

The show gets back underway, but the collective audience IQ has sunk
into the negative numbers.  Dexter gets nailed solidly in the face
with something big and wet and disgusting.  Such a nice guy in such
a great band and somebody in the audience does _that_ to him!

Then Mr. Tripper gets _back_ on the stage.  Why wasn't he ejected
from the club?  This time he wants to use Starcrunch's microphone
to slobber and slur something incomprehensible about someone else
in the audience.  So _that_ guy gets up on the stage and uses 
Coco's mike to stage an impromptu debate.  Needless to say, what
ensued was more pitiful and pointless than Gore vs. Kemp.
Eventually they both are persuaded to leave the stage.