11/29/96 through 12/16/96
Sporadic Transmission Relays of the Intangible and Abstract Battle Between the Astro/Delta 72/Cash Money Experience and Winter
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ Download
Time Configuration: 11.29.96 E-AD
Location Bloc: Chukker Live Music Centre/Tuscaloosa, AL Sector
Reinitiate Tour Mode. Restoration chain of Live Astro Performance episode at Chukker facility.
Cash Money Experience: Bombastic, Loud, Rabid.
Secondary Entertainment Collective: Delta 72 - Energetic, Suave, Precise.
Man or Astro-Man? - Starcrunch string destruction, Coco drum capsization, Birdstuff microphone containment device cranium collision. Extreme load out delay. Subjugation of Tuscaloosa grid.
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ Download
Time Configuration: 11.30.96 E-AD
Location Bloc: Back Quarter, Woodland Area Music Centre - The Double Wide/Jackson Sector
Undesirable meteorological conditions ensue during point to point Astro-Maneuver. Rewiring necessary for fast-forward of performance, overhaul of public address system completed by Branock Device. Cash Money Overmasters temporary failure of sound reinforcement. The Delta 72 potency overcomes adverse trajectory vibe radiating from internal environmental conditions. Astro, Inc. cross end line despite technical affliction of all involved. Mississippi - an easy subjection.
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ Download
Time Configuration: 12.1.96 E-AD
Location Bloc: Exit In Entertainment Block/Nashville Sector
Interspersed Caffeine Intake allows for all night anti-Mississippi Astro-propulsion. Dock space M-C/P-R Nashville sub-home coordinate. Abnormal temp. variation for the southern maxi-grid already initiated. Cash Money provide Rock Mode Completion Cycle A-9C.2. Delta 72 execute Roll Task Function Z-9.12. Man or Astro-Man? in effect risk lives of many for a lecherous thrill, and still manage not to have themselves injured by hefty 104.5 x 1,000,000 sound personnel, Frank.
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ Download
Time Configuration: 12.2.96 E-AD
Location Bloc: Graceland TV Room/BarristerÕs Post-Nuke Aftermath Shelter/Memphis Sector
1 hour backwards time shift manifest distorted perception into a state of perpetual darkness. Intensely Arctic-Class weather provokes Astro-Winter Performance Wear obtainment at K-Mart Thermal Space Suit Issue & Supply Depot. BarristerÕs P.N.A. Shelter - site of the infamous 3 piece sonic attack crew where one Coco the Electronic Monkey persona projects low-end sound device into audience. Pre-soundcheck activities include the debut of Man or Delta-Cash? Rock Experience. Disaster strike initiated. Cash Money minutely falters due to Scott G.Õs aerodynamic stick maneuvers. Delta 72 stabilizes overall audio movement momentarily until the Astro-Rift of the stable Sonic Continuum. Coco is the source of all evil in the known universe.
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ Download
Time Configuration: 12.3.96 E-AD
Location Bloc: Sudsy MaloneÕs Mass Clothing Particle Purification Facility/Cincinnati Sector
Transport through daily period of blackness. No immediate com-plot for accommodations. Various Astro-Duties dispatched and executed. Dual Universe Club allows for live performance experiment as well as sparkling fresh space garb. Overly acceptable percentage of fans of Alien Geek Rock. S.G. of the Cash Currency Collection Agency provides a perplexing crowd ignition phase. Post-show activity of intoxicated musical collective operating a high voltage device. No casualties except for a massive bulk expulsion.
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ Download
Time Configuration: 12.4.96 E-AD
Location Bloc: Toy Tiger Carnal Desire Fulfillment Factory/Louisville Sector
Replacement of brass special FX percussive device. Past/current clientele of venue included Great White, Vixen, Dokken, and Ronnie James Dio. The Cash Money Rock Enterprise sustains mild damage from Coco and Greg 72 projecting miniature fuse-activated explosive powder tube vessels. Del-72.84: extraordinary display of showmanship in the realm of human entertainment. Astro-Sonic permutation discharge revolves around a foreign siege from either flank. $-$ Agent S.G. relieves timekeeping temporarily on Invasion of D-Men. Afterwards, a hot buns contest ensues in the Toy Tiger Dance Area, proving the baseness of humanity, as well as our own entourage.
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ Download
Time Configuration: 12.5.96 E-AD
Location Bloc: Club Soda Musical/Alcohol Interaction Point/Kalamazoo Sector
Valve 5 of 8 falters on the Astro-Chevy 20 Ground Transport Module 231.2 seconds into nocturnal departure from Louisville graph point. Starcrunch is reprimanded by the local law enforcement for forming an imaginary letter ÔUÕ with the aforementioned ground transport module. Unable for immediate restoration, we are forced to harness the power of V-7. First stage of blizzard unfolds during morning hours. Blizzard classification designated not from technical state analysis, but rather from the perspective of home grown Alabama meteorology. Shift in core line-up: Cash Money designated first of four traditional mid-1990s earth musical combos. Thereafter, they soon depart for home base of Chicago. Local grid portion of performance factor executed by Quixoti. Delta 72 squad falls victim to show-attending verbal abuse terrorist. Their show deconstructs. Astro-Redemption through the warming and expansion of unmoving, frozen organic particles. Possibly this is due to Coco nearly giving audience members in the front row status 3 degree burns from flaming TV helmet apparatus.
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ Download
Time Configuration: 12.6.96 E-AD
Location Bloc: Metro, Atomic Core Shelter/Chicago Sector
Electrical fizz short circuits itself from CocoÕs hyper-powered bug zapper. No mega-voltage for Chicago mob, members of Touch and Go or the Billions Corporation. Coco commences on-stage pan fried bacon vaporization during Cash Money phase. Delta Crash Flight 72 start a new religion, and engage massive numbers of aimless converts. Astro-Sect-sabotage from within: a two-fold attack leaving creamy pie filling in the face and on the kick pedal of the innocent. After show forgiveness with a decent swarm of benevolent homosapiens. The planet earth seems like a semi-bearable site.
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ Download
Time Configuration: 12.7.96 E-AD
Location Bloc: Mill St. Entry Port and Yuppy Clone Plant/Pontiac Sector
Initial nutritional consumption with celebrity components of Delta 72, Touch and Go, Billions Corporation. Meal selections rotate themselves around American 19th Century (as opposed to 23rd) Civil War heroes. Boche Billions takes on the Jefferson Davis. Entire sustenance process forces Astro-Entrance to Mill St. Entry to a detention-receiving tardy. Entire yuppie clientel and environment perceives itself to be a recreation of ÒPulp FictionÓ (film, c. 1995 E-AD) twist scene. Intruders and impostors seize the backstage prep area. D-72 are typical in and of themselves - unbelievably locked and honed. Stage set so distant from onlooking targets that the performance seq. appears to my optical receptors to be diluted of any adversarial contact. Secondary duties in backstage prep area. Prove long-held beliefs to be contrary: In case of inquiry, indeed does Preston of Mule partake in the consumption of alcoholic liquids.
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ Download
Time Configuration: 12.8.96 E-AD
Location Bloc: LeeÕs Palace of Canadian Infrastruction/Toronto Sector
Nearing shortest day cycle of the year, night consumes all and insists its control in hasty fashion. Toronto appears like a dilution of Tokyo. Neon - Blade Runner, Replicant Shut Down-style. It is made known to all - Weird Al Yankovic is at a nearby restaurant. Coco, complete with electric M.W. goggles ÒaccostsÓ him and requests that he attend the show only to be accosted himself for being in Man or Astro-Man? by someone at another booth. Weird Al, while courteous, already has a beautiful girlfriend and plans. At the Palace of the one called Lee, both Delta and Astro action procedures are far superior to the reaction of the unimpressed audience. It is the annual celebratory day of Bruce DeltaÕs birth. We oblige him by putting him in a c.1950s-style weight-reduction contrivance, strapping CocoÕs helmet upon his cranium, and unbeknownst to Bruce O., light aforementioned protective head gear on fire. Canadian fried potato chip manufacturers produce chips that are ketchup flavored.
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ Download
Time Configuration: 12.9.96 E-AD
Location Bloc: Cabaret Cabaret Cabaret Cabaret Cabaret/Montreal Sector
Spatial dimension shift into France? Temporarily personnel unload period in order to obtain lower utility wear for upcoming appearance on the Sci-Fi television channel. Punctuality as secondary (or tertiary) priority, late Astro-Appearance unveils primary Catherine to be in lingering resentment. One of their constituents is of romantic inclination with DÕArcy of Smashing Pumpkins group. They have a winnebago and extremely dainty road cases. Little Debbie Snack staple is replaced by odd sugar-laced cake creations from a company named Vachon, one in particular is called ÒBillot-Log.Ó Canadian still have undergone mass required doses of Valium and therefore are subject to facial collision by high velocity ÒBillot-Logs.Ó
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ Download
Time Configuration: 12.10.96
Location Bloc: Elvis Room and Coordinate Relay Center/Portsmouth Sector
Prevaillent pass through Canadian demarkation security clearance control. Breaking into unified states zone, the Astro 20 glides past over ice and snow into Bob Newhart vacation territory. Portsmouth, Elvis Room. Minuscule at best, not possible for latter hefty bag Elvis to actually fit in the room. D-72 is restrained at border check point. Alpha Team gears for solo entertainment cycle, yet Beta Charlie takes operative go-ahead. D-72 manifest non-holographic incarnation and produce melodic tonalities upon Astro-Survival Gear. Sequel operations prove themselves faulty by memory neglection. Set list guidance and electrical socket shut down. Life support tubing proves to be general annoyance and bruise-causing agent.
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ Download
Time Configuration: 12.11.96 E-AD
Location Bloc: Wesleyan Data Implantation Compound/Connecticut Sector
Anomalous setting and parameters for live sonic transformation for any musical mutation. Mistaken perception that we were hired to function in Buckminster FullerÕs living room. Arsenal of sound sources including standardized R&B hypewarp of D-72, tradition ska stylings of the Slackers, the ever-present Sci-Fi savant rock, and the Brooklyn-flavored hip hop of Jeru the Damaja. In the very least, as interesting a diverse collection of inexplicable mishaps and confrontation. On the most exaggerated a race war. D-72 spare no casualties even under unsuitable production environmental restraints. The Slackers retrofit ska in a digestible form. After billing dispute, Astro-Men mutate into an angry Geek Mercenary Hit Team only to cease and desist because of an injured show attendee. Da Damaja is renumerated $3,000 in American earth currency for basically doing a brisk 20 minutes of call/response games like those partaken by my adolescent homo sapien alias at earth summer camp. Of course, the exception is the fact that the counselor at Camp Winataska never did say ÒOkay, on this next one I want to hear all da bitches!Ó
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ Download
Time Configuration: 12.12.96 E-AD
Location Bloc: MaxwellÕs Fermentation and Libation Distillery Plant/Hoboken Sector
Fabrication of new specific visually stunning space jacket wear in order to achieve extreme vogue status for ÒInside SpaceÕsÓ study and classification of the Man or Astro-Man? organism. However $250 Extreme Same Day Sonic Express Hypership Mail from Mantrap Clothing Extraordinaire proved itself to be a futile exercise for both the men in brown and their brown trucks. Nevertheless, the Astro-Broadcast Team betacamed their way through some 45 earth minutes of lewd, disrespectful (to the human species) comments for a future airing that lays historical significance on the genre known as Òspace rock.Ó MaxwellÕs hits maximum human capacity, or captivity, and a few true believers are turned away, thus escaping the projecting power range of CocoÕs hypno beam. D-72 lay the verbal lashing on yet another unsuspecting heckler specimen and still solid scores throughout. Astro-Exhibition: short and precise, an unforgiving assassination on the crammed fleshlings who gave up valuable time and cash to catch a glimpse of our extra-terrestrial life forms.
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ Download
Time Configuration: 12.14.96
Location Block: The Point (of no return) Centraplex/Atlanta Sector, Little Five Points Subsector
Time Delay Overload. 16 hour time progression back to assorted HQ points in the Northern Georgia Territory. B. Stuff ship captain mode. Enter: Pre-Washington, D.C., Exit: Post Richmond, VA. Conditions: Massive Precipitations, 87.59 working engine valve percentage, no optical enhancement device to counter near sighted genetic malfunction Ð a Level 9 Mission. After the time it takes to start a handsome beard, the Astro-Squad disembarked at ground zero.
Mail of infinite varieties flood responsibility circuit. After running over terrain of Alpha HQ with Hoover vacuum cleaner module, immediately set direction actuator for point: Point. Dexter for some delusion, in full-flowing green leisure suit. Irony: 2 free-loading human types at bar, receiving free inebriative liquids, falsely claiming to be members of the Legion of Astro. One is wearing a similar suit to that of Dexter X. The Lounge Lizard informs the proper authorities to issue Code A-92 Ð ÒKick the lying bastards outÓ procedure after throwing them out of the balcony dressing room sector more than once.
Before main assignment, during the interim, Delta 72 amaze all visiting Astro-Friends, causing them bewilderment as to how such a great band could put up with us in an extended touring environment. In pre-Delta 72 switchover sequence, club officials mistook Dexter for one of the Astro-Imposters and gave him an austere-style harassment and refused to let him back in after he left to get a pizza from next door. After the retro-rocketing vocal chord shooting off by all involved parties, we still managed to hit the start button. With minor bits of data, Commander S. Crunch decides the club had wronged ÒWe Doers of GoodÓ and flips the sarcasm switch to maximum intensity. St. CrunchÕs deadpan doorman commentary tones disengages the gala of Astro-Atlanta Experiment Festivities, tripping circuit breakers in the hind brain of Coco. After show outcome: Near-death entanglement between the bandÕs two shortest members. Eventually, love overcomes all, as it always does, with those touched by the hand of Astro.
Source: Birdstuff Mobile CommuniquŽ
Time Configuration: 12.16.96
Location Bloc: The Nick Perpetual Rock Museum and Continuum
Official Entry Marker: Final Installation
Christmas responsibilities - a more dreaded task than any tour/van module duty. Relatives can be far more problematic to win over than mere jaded audience members. The four walls of The Nick are a rubber room we may never escape.
The D-72 relayed the most enjoyable performance of the tour, unfortunately the nerve-damaged victims of the Great Birmingham Culture Holocaust stayed lobotomized. G. Foreman Ògave it upÓ for all members of the Astro-Force, even doing imitation justice to the Coco ÒMouthful of ExhaustÓ cough cycle Ð he is a one-being spectacle, yet remarkably, so is every other member of the D-72 R&B membership.
Remote access switch to 2nd half hour Astro show closer: Coco must be shot, bring in the firing squad complete with laser rifles. Malfunctioning dialog relayer, missing low-frequency string plectroms, maniacal stage movements Ð Coco is a one-android steamroller everytime the show pops its head above the ground to see if itÕs safe to perform properly. It is a rare occasion to hear a patron at a show shout to the stage, ÒSomebody buy that boy a strap!Ó A monkey wizard malpractice suit is currently in the workings. Ironically, there were a few salvageable frames from the highlight footage reel: Coco setting his sampler aflame, Jersey Retirement and time-piece donation to long-time trusty, dependable co-captain, The Lounge Lizard, audience participation Astro 20 engine exhaust dispersion into the club interior dance area, and G. Foreman playing the role of ÒEvel KnievalÓ for ÒNitrous Burnout.Ó I suppose to our detriment or temporary condolence, there have been so many substandard Astro-Exhibitions in the Birmingham Sector that a human audience would not know a good show if they were abducted by it. Temporary adjustment, just now perceive former stationment is a functioning contradiction. Back to linear thought progression...The D-72 Flight Team - one of the most pleasant earth units that we have been witness to, not to mention the on-board service.
Now the execution of the Xperiement Zero Extended Excursion era is over, the space suit is peeled off and I reattain civilian status. IÕm not sure how to operate in any conventional manner. Now there is understanding of the statement ÒTime to make the doughnuts.Ó
Procedural Memorandum: In optimistic calculations, the master communiquŽ link should be properly interconnected for future Astro-Missions and the mobile transmissions resupplanted for orthodox, accustomed Birdstuff impression relation dispatch.
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