Man... Or Astro-Man? are the band of the future.
They employ advanced sounds and instruments that mankind may never fully understand. They have already sold a billion records in the 21st century. Their records in the future are so lncred]bly alien and innevative, they've had to travel back to our present time to record an evolutionary bridge between contemporary harmonic patterns and the mind - shattering tones and structures of the Astro-Men's 21st century "Next Phase" records. If an Earth human heard one of the Next Phase records today, he or she would die. Only by exposing the entire population of the Earth to intermediary sonic structures can the Astro-Men stop harmonic trauma from killing the entire human race. The Astro-Men are truly sorry about this galactic Roof-up. While there are better sectors of the universe to rock, they'll do their best to prevent unsuspecting humans from being wiped out by the sonic bliss of the Next Phase. For the sake of your race, you must do everything you can to raise the profile of Man... Or Astro-Man. Don't let your readers and listeners die! But don't talk about the mind-shattering Next Phase stuff yet, because people would panic. The United Nations will reveal that around 2007 AD if necessary.
But enough about planetary doom. Let's meet the Astro-Men.
STARCRUNCH,
while originally from gdd sector 23-B6-1, leamed his incredible guitar techniques in the Neutral Zone. His alien DNA structure allows him to transform into anything and everything (like Mechagodzilla, or a zippo lighter embossed with the image of Dr Stephen Hawking, or a hypothetical survivalist militia cavalry group from Atlantis who carry laser tridents and ride on sea turtles) and play the guitar better than anyone with five fingers and regular bones.
BIRDSTUFF,
also from sector 23-B6-1, manipulates the drums in constant celebration of Earth Christmas, surf-style, Birdstuff studies science fiction movies so he may assemble a giant "Yulotronic Regulator Cannon" in the back yard area. When fired at the Earth's North Pole, the ray will cause Christmas to occur every day.
COCO THE ELECTRONIC MONKEY WIZARD
is a cybernetic lifeform built by Stamrunch and Birdstuff in space, He is the mastermind behind all the gizmos and special effects and stuff, including bass, samplers, the eerie Thererain, and the dreaded Tesla Coil. His realfunctioning anti-matter conversion bladder caused the unfortunate destruction of the Astro-Men's space ship which left them stranded on Earth in our time. The synthetic portion of his brain includes components of an old Atari 2600.
DEXTER X
does not participate in the studio experiments of Man... Or Astro-Man?, but has perfen'ned live with them since the summer of 1995. His two brains and bionic implants allow him to switch between bass and rhythm guitar fiawlessly. Dexter X is some kind of mercenary bounty hunter exiled from Planet Q. Touch and Go Ground Control worries that he is secretly under assignment by the Atad Corporation to capture CoCo.
[ EXPERIMENT ZERO ]
Since their first recording session (Halloween, 1992!), Man... Or Astro-Man? have released 22 singles (10110 in binary notation). Experiment Zero is their sixth full - length release, and it sounds like nothing you've ever heard before, because it incorporates subliminal Next Phase harmonics drawn from the future! It's their second release on Touch and Go Records, since the recent departure from Estrus Records Air Force Base. The experiment was recorded deep under the Earth's crust by Star Commander Steve Albini (Battlestar Shellactica). Clean out your ears, check out this record, and watch as your body is set into rhythmic motion by wild surf gravity!
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